Driving Phobia: How to Overcome

Well, I know a lot of people that have phobias of all sorts of things; spiders, cotton wool, needles, large gatherings and to be perfectly honest I would place myself with some of those phobias, but my biggest is the fear of driving. 

I am going to be writing this as quickly as I can because even feeling and seeing the words being printed are starting to build up my anxiety. 

A little bit of background to me and my driving. I passed my test around six years ago and it was not an easy thing to do. I had numerous tests but failed as I always got nervous; my legs would shake that much that I would stall the car. When I finally passed I was so super excited and was just so pleased that I had finally managed to do it. 

A couple of months later I got a car for myself. The first day I drove it I went with my other half and he drove it to a quiet spot. It was rush hour traffic at the time and when I came away from the place we were at I got stuck in traffic and stalled it. I was completely embarrassed and my other half was not too pleased with me, but I persevered and carried on. 

Now I don't live far from where I work so I only took the car there for a week, just to get used to it and I thought I had done well in getting used to it. 

I would go about places with my other half, but as much as I love him, he is very critical and everything I was doing was not the way he would do it; I wasn't going fast enough, not changing gears smoothly enough, not going around corners in the gear that he does, not leaving enough space with parked cars, going too close to the kerb, taking too long to park up. There were a range of things and after about four years I finally snapped and said I couldn't do it anymore. The fear of getting into the car and making mistakes or not doing things correctly was too much. 

Now, what I need to say is that in all the time I had been driving I had not had an accident, or done anything that would harm the vehicle, passengers, other road users or pedestrians, but all I could think about was 'what if'. 

I have not driven in about 18 months and I don't know if I can get back to it. I feel that I have gone past the point of being able to do it. The fear, sweats, breathing quickly, loss of confidence, panic attacks when I get behind the wheel have overtaken me. 

I am trying to put together a plan of what I can do and how to go about it. I feel this year needs to be my 'passing' year, where I can pass the fear and anxiety and wave goodbye to it. My plan is not formalised as yet, but maybe this is the start of it and I just need to build on this. This piece is the first step as it has not been easy writing this, but progress is to be made! I am not sure if anyone of you have had the same feelings or been in the same situation. It would be really good to get your take on this.